Chapter Thirteen

Tatsuya opened his eyes half way. Everything was blurry, so he closed them again, not thinking too much about what had happened or where he was.
“Hey… Tatsuya, are you awake?” came Maddy’s voice.
This made Tatsuya want to open his eyes. He looked up at the white ceiling and saw Maddy looming over him.
“I doubt this is heaven,” he said, his voice muffled. He wondered why his words didn’t sound clear and his hand jumped to his face, feeling the oxygen mask around him. He pulled it off and sat up straight.
“Oh, don’t sit up,” she said. “And keep that thing on you. The doctor said you needed as much oxygen as you can get. Y’know, after what you’ve been breathing in.”
“I feel fine, though,” he said.
“No, you don’t. If you felt perfectly fine, then you wouldn’t have done something like this.”
“That doesn’t matter,” Tatsuya said. “Where am I?”
“Where do you think you are?” Maddy snapped. “You’re at the hospital.”
“How did I get here? What happened?”
Maddy jerked her head in the direction where the corner of the room was. Kimi was sitting there on a chair, her face buried in her hands, crying.
“Uh…” Tatsuya said, unsure of what to say. “Kimi, can you come here for a minute?”
“No,” she said between sobs. “I don’t want to talk to you.”
Tatsuya sighed, but Maddy didn’t let him get up to go talk to her.
“She’s the one who found you,” Maddy said quietly. “She tried to sleep, but heard that the car was on, so she got up to go see what was up, and found you sleeping in the car when it was on.”
“Oh,” Tatsuya said. “Kimi, can you please come here?”
She stood up and obeyed her brother, though she didn’t look up to see him.
Tatsuya put his arms around her. “Tell me what’s up?”
“No,” she said again. “What’s wrong with you?”
“There’s nothing wrong with me. I—”
“Do you know how freaked out mom and I were?” she snapped, looking up at him. He could see now how her face was covered in tears. “Do you know how scared we were? Do you know how I feel right now knowing that my big brother could be so weak?”
Tatsuya knew that even though Kimi was only eleven, she wasn’t a stupid little kid. Innocent, maybe, but she was not a stupid little kid.
“Kimi, I understand. But—”
“No!” she snapped again. “I don’t want to hear your explanation! There is no possible excuse that is good enough for what you did!”
“If you just gave me a chance to explain—”
“I don’t want your explanation!” she said. “I just want you to know how I felt. I’m angry, Tatsuya. I’m angry, and sad, and confused. But the last thing I want right now is your explanation.”
Tatsuya turned his head away. He couldn’t even bear to look into his sister’s eyes. He began to stare at the analog clock, instead, which stated the time 11:48. He slowly watched the seconds hand travel across the numbers in continuous circles.
“I’m going to go get mom,” Kimi said. “I need to tell her you’re awake now.”
Kimi marched out of the room, attempting to keep her head high. She slammed the door shut behind her, and left Tatsuya alone with Maddy.
“Tatsuya,” Maddy said, her voice cracking in attempt not to start crying. “Tatsuya, I know you’re upset about your grandfather and stuff, but… Well, even if Kimi doesn’t want an explanation for your actions, I do. Please tell me why you did what you did.”
Tatsuya sighed heavily. “You know I would tell you if I could, but it’s just too ridiculous.”
“Come on, Tatsuya,” she said. “You can tell me. I’ll listen, I swear.”
Tatsuya sighed again. “I don’t know. I don’t think it’ll make sense if I tell you.”
Maddy frowned at him. “Well, just so you know, when Darren heard about this, he wanted to come here, too. But he’s still a bit weak, so his mother wouldn’t allow him out of his bed.”
“Is Darren okay?” Tatsuya asked, slightly surprised.
“Well, he’s recovering,” Maddy said. “But he’s still looking pretty bad. His mom let me see him once, and he can still barely move out of his bed.”
“Oh,” Tatsuya said, disappointed. If Darren was okay, then maybe killing himself wasn’t the only way out. Tatsuya thought about it for a moment, and then realized that he did kill his grandfather, so there was no way that this whole thing is just going to blow over once it ends.
“Yeah,” Maddy said quietly.
The door flew open as Tatsuya’s mom came in, closely followed by Kimi. She was still wearing her nurse’s uniform, so she was busy with work. Tatsuya had a feeling that she was the nurse who was assigned to him while he stayed in the hospital.
“Oh, you’re awake,” she gasped. “But you don’t have the oxygen mask on. Tatsuya, how are you feeling?”
Tatsuya was thankful she wasn’t in tears like Kimi was. He was also glad that she was so focused on his health now instead of his prior actions.
“I feel fine, mom,” he said. “Really, I do.”
“Okay, but that doesn’t mean I’m not concerned about you,” she said. “Please, try not to use too much energy. Maybe you should go back to sleep.”
“No, mom, I’m fine,” he argued back. “And I was in the middle of a conversation with Maddy.”
Tatsuya’s mother looked up at Maddy, who was still sitting at the edge of Tatsuya’s bed.
“Oh, your name is Maddy,” she said. “I was wondering who you were.”
“Yeah,” she said. “I’m one of Tatsuya’s friends from school.”
“Your name is Maddy?” his mother asked again.
“That’s right, Ms. Gray,” she said. “Maddy Fisher.”
Tatsuya’s mother looked back at Tatsuya, and then at Maddy, and then at Tatsuya again. “Maddy Fisher?”
“Mom, do you mind?” Tatsuya said. He knew what was going on in her mind right now.
“Yeah,” she said, slightly breathless. “If anything comes up, call for me, all right? I’ll be working. Kimi’s going to stay in the lobby.”
“Thanks, mom,” he said.
They left the room, and Tatsuya turned his attention back to Maddy.
“Why did your mom looks so freaked out when she saw me?” Maddy said, a sliver of laughter in her voice.
“Well, maybe she couldn’t believe that I’m friends with such a pretty girl,” he said. He had to come up with some excuse.
Maddy smiled at him. “Tatsuya, why did you do this?”
Tatsuya sighed. “I told you, it’s a really weird explanation, and I doubt you’re going to believe me.”
“I don’t care if I believe it or not,” she said. “I still want to hear it. And I want to hear it as soon as possible.”
“Wait, can I just ask you something first?” Tatsuya said.
Maddy frowned. “Sure, Tatsuya. What’s up?”
“Why are you here and not at school? I remember I fell asleep in the car on a Sunday night.”
“It’s Saturday,” she said. “It’s been a whole week.”
Tatsuya’s eyes widened. “I’ve been asleep for a whole week?”
Maddy nodded. “It was pretty frightening.”
“Oh my God,” Tatsuya said. “That is pretty frightening.”
“I wanted to come over and visit you earlier than today, but my parents were so angry with me. They didn’t want me to miss school to come see you or anything. They’re pretty skeptical about friends of mine whom they haven’t met.”
“Yeah, or people they hate from ten years ago,” Tatsuya muttered under his breath.
“What was that?”
“Oh, nothing,” Tatsuya said quickly. “How come they let you here today?”
“I got in a huge argument with them. Right before I left the door I screamed, ‘Well, if he survives maybe you can meet him!’”
“So now do I have to meet your parents?”
Maddy chuckled. “Yeah, maybe. I was saying that mostly out of anger, but they might take it seriously.”
“Damn. Maybe I shouldn’t have woken up.”
“Tatsuya, that’s not funny,” she said. “You scared a lot of people. Please, tell me why you did this.”
“Do you really want to know?” he asked her.
“Yes,” she said bluntly.
“Even though it’s really strange?”
“I still want to know.”
“Will you swear not to laugh?”
“Why the hell would I laugh?”
“You’re not going to believe it.”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“All right… are you sure?”
“Tatsuya, just tell me.”
“Well, you see—” Tatsuya started, but he was interrupted by the opening of the door.
“Um, I’m sorry to bother you, Tatsuya,” Kimi said in a quiet voice.
“That’s all right, Kimi,” he said, beckoning her to come closer with his hand. He was actually relieved that she had come at such a convenient time. “What’s going on?”
“There are a few people down in the lobby,” she said. “Two of them are Maddy’s parents who want her to come home with them.”
Maddy groaned. “They’re always coming at such a horrible time,” she said. “I don’t want to see them. But they’re probably going to drag me home by my feet if I don’t listen to them. So I might as well just leave.” She stood up, and began to walk towards the door.
“Bye, Maddy,” Tatsuya said.
“You’re not off the hook yet,” she said, pointing at him with a stern finger. “You have to come over to my house for dinner or something. You can meet my parents and maybe give me an explanation.”
She walked out, leaving the door hanging behind her.
“Who else is there, Kimi?” Tatsuya asked.
“Just this other girl,” she said. “From your school. She said that if you’re awake she really wanted to talk to you.”
“Oh,” Tatsuya said. “Okay.”
“I’ll tell her she can come up here.”
Kimi closed the door behind her as she left. Tatsuya began to watch the second hand on the clock run in circles again. He had never found this entertaining, but suddenly found it extremely amusing. He picked up the small clock, and as soon as he touched it, the second hand began to slow down until it came to a halt.
“Wow,” he said. “I even killed the battery.”
The door opened, and Tatsuya wasn’t surprised at all to see Kaida glide into the room and into the chair next to his bed.
“How are you feeling?” she asked.
“Fine,” Tatsuya answered. “I’m alive, I guess.”
“Yes. You’re alive. I wasn’t really hoping for that.”