Chapter Twelve

“Wait… that’s it?” Tatsuya said. He flipped through the pages of the journal. All of the pages after that specific entry were blank. “That’s it, Drake Gray? That’s how your life ended?” Tatsuya frantically flipped through the journal again, hoping that a new entry would magically appear out of thin air. “That’s how you solved the problem? Is it just… over?”
Tatsuya didn’t even notice himself enter the hospital. He was too focused on trying to find another journal entry. He couldn’t, though. That was the end of Drake Gray’s expedition, and that was the end of Drake Gray’s life.
He went into the hospital room where his grandfather was, but it was empty. He saw his mother, stripping the sheets on the empty bed.
“Mom,” Tatsuya said softly to his mother.
She looked up at him, attempted to smile, but failed. Tatsuya knew what had happened.
He sauntered over to his mother, and fell into her arms promptly before bursting out into tears.
“Tatsuya,” she said softly. “Maybe you should just go back home. Is Kimi there?”
“Yeah,” he sniffled. “I put her to bed, and she’s okay and stuff. But… mom…”
“Hush,” she said. “I know. It’s okay.”
“Should I really just… go home? Is it over? Is that the end?”
“I think just going home would be the best thing for both of us,” she said. “You don’t have to walk again. I’m driving home. Come with me, all right?”
Tatsuya didn’t feel like speaking, so he just nodded. He knew exactly how Kimi felt, crying into his mothers clothes. There was some feeling of security being in someone’s arms. Someone you trusted, someone you could cry to. He felt safe.
His mother didn’t speak a single word after that, but helped him get to the car so they could drive back home.
“I’ll tell Kimi tomorrow morning,” she said, unlocking the front door. “I think you should go to bed. I’m not going to force you to go to school tomorrow, either.”
“Okay, mom,” he said quietly. He went into his room, and locked the door. He realized that Gina was still unplugged from when Kaida was there, so he put the plug back into the socket and turned his computer on. Gina was his only friend at the moment.
“That was unpleasant,” Gina said. “I don’t like abruptly being unplugged like that.”
“I know you don’t like being unplugged, that’s why I plugged you back in,” Tatsuya told her. “That doesn’t mean I want to talk to you, though. I just thought I’d do something nice.”
“Thank you, Tatsuya,” she said. “And I understand.”
“Okay,” he said. “I’m going to sleep. You can wake me up tomorrow morning. I know my mom said I didn’t have to go to school tomorrow, but I don’t really feel like sleeping in.”
“Understood.”
Tatsuya collapsed onto his bed, and Gina didn’t say a word after that. Even though Tatsuya’s eyes were closed, he was incredibly far away from being asleep. He was thinking about what he was going to do next. He couldn’t ask Kaida, because all she would say is to go to the journal for what Drake Gray did. And Drake Gray killed himself. Is that really the only way to stop the power?
He couldn’t imagine it. The whole death thing. As far as his mind went, all that happened was that Drake Gray’s journal entries stopped. He just couldn’t picture “death” as an actual thing. Especially since he wasn’t there for his grandfather’s death. Maybe he was, though, and he didn’t even know it. Still, whether he watched his grandfather die or not, he still couldn’t imagine HIMSELF dying. He was a fifteen year old boy, he really didn’t think that much about death, let alone committing suicide.
Tatsuya stood up. He couldn’t bear the thought of having killed someone, and the fact that he was still in the process of killing someone. Hell, Darren could be dead right now, and he didn’t even know about it.
“This is stupid,” Tatsuya muttered himself, wandering around his house in the dark. “I just can’t believe this is happening. Maybe if I kill myself I’ll just wake up from a bad dream.” Tatsuya chortled at his stupid comment.
He walked into his kitchen, and opened one of the cupboards and pulled out a potato from a sac. He laughed at himself, and then sat down on the living room couch, simply gazing at the potato. “Hello, potato,” he said, his voice sounding lighthearted. “It’s kind of hard to believe that a little thing like you could kill me.” After staring at the potato for a little while longer, he got up and began to walk towards his garage. It was a lot cleaner, so the car miraculously fit. He found it slightly amusing how much his mother helped in his own death. He shoved the potato into the exhaust pipe of his mother’s car.
“Oh, mom,” he said, getting into the driver’s seat of the car. “It’s such a bad idea putting your car key in the car. Don’t you know people can just take your car away? Well, maybe you’ll learn your lesson after this.”
He put the key in the ignition and turned it. The car roared to life, and Tatsuya just sat there in the driver’s seat.
“I guess I just… relax,” he said. “I don’t really know what’s happening. Carbon monoxide is supposed to be colorless and odorless, right? Well… I guess that’s a good thing.”
Tatsuya closed his eyes, and continued to inhale and exhale. He never noticed how precious each breath was before that moment. He closed his eyes, and hoped that he wouldn’t have to open them again.